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SingleMom Talk: Bring Back “First Base”: Does Anyone Just Kiss Anymore?

The dating scene can be tough, especially when the rules have
changed.One single mom asks, what happened to first base.

By Anonymous Single Mom


Does anybody out there remember “first base,” you know when kissing was as far as it went. These days, kissing is like a lost art form and more of a quick gateway drug just to get to the main event. First base used to be someplace you stayed and lingered for a while. Now it’s just simply something to quickly round before heading straight to home.

A few months ago I was on a date with a gentlemen who said that at our age, people are “too grown to just kiss” and that you shouldn’t kiss anybody deeply if you don’t plan on having sex that night. That night??  Ok, Mr. Lover. That date wrapped up quickly without nary a good night peck.

As far as I’m concerned, kissing is a major prerequisite to any further action and a harbinger of what’s to come. You can learn a lot about a man from his kiss. If he comes at you too hard or jolting, that is not a good sign. If you can’t kiss patiently, slowly, and softly then I’ve got a real good idea what the bedroom situation will be like. No thanks. And if he can’t smoothly find your mouth and properly engage, who knows what else he might be fumbling to find…Again, no thanks.

But a man who is patient, is willing to take his time, discover your lips and the nooks and crannies of your neck, now, he has a much better chance of making it to home base.

I wish more “too grown” men would realize this.

Everybody is all about the sex, without the romance. Without the discovery.  In this microwave oven world, 60-second abs and 30-second meals world, we want everything fast. When the truth is, some things are just so much better when they are slow-cooked and allowed to marinade.

I say all that to say, that I recently had the most wonderful dating experience. It was about our fourth real “date” (lots of impromptu coffees and cocktails in between) and we had dinner in his neighborhood. We walked back to his place for him to show me some pictures from a recent African safari trip. There was music and wine and pictures. Then we slow danced to the oldies and we fast danced to the oldies and then we kissed. For like a really long time. Then there was more talking and more kissing.  Sometimes slowly. Sometimes deeply. And that was it.

We joked that we felt like we were back in high school and agreed that we should meet for our next date under the bleachers.

But it was the most wonderful night in a long time. A night that started , stayed and stopped at first base. And that’s when I really realized how wrong Mr. Lover had been.

This is what being “grown” is all about.

Ladies, have you been missing the lost art form of kissing too?  When’s the last time you had a “first base” only night?

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