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A Lesson From My Wasband… Please Don’t Tell Him




Well, I guess eventually he’d have to be good for something.

Just kidding (…sort of).

But I have to admit, I learned an important lesson from the wasband a few months ago and it is serving me well.

Somewhere during my divorce process and after I had left my career to pursue my business dream, I started doing everything for my kids. I mean they never had any regular chore assignments, they did very little to tidy their rooms and had pretty much zero responsibility in the house.

I really thought this was my job. To make matters worse, prior to me taking this on, I was fortunate enough to have a live-in nanny while I was working full-time and she basically took care of the children’s needs. In fact when I told my oldest that I was leaving my job to be at home and the nanny would have to go, her first response was “Who’s going to clean my room?.”

Major SMH.

That was my first clue that something was awry and there was an important life lesson my kids were missing.

The second clue was less subtle. I noticed that when my kids came home from their weekend visits at their Dad’s house, they cheerfully shared how they had washed and or dried dishes, vacuumed or dusted. You did what, say what now?

At her Dad’s, Kayla had learned to flip her own pancakes. I only let her make frozen waffles in the toaster oven. She had also made scrambled eggs at her Dad’s. I never thought of allowing her to use the stove top yet.

And my youngest had been standing on a stool to dry dishes.

Now wait a daggum minute. If these kids can do all of that at the house they visit on weekends, they should surely chip in more at their primary residence.

Thank you wasband!

I realized that my trying to make their life easier, figuring they were enduring enough emotional hardship, wasn’t doing them or I any good.

Since my Aha! moment, the past few months have been wonderful.

Every now and then I sit on the couch, put my feet up and watch my children do the weekend dishes. It’s a great feeling, to be honest. They also have a checklist for cleaning their bathroom twice a week. And making the bed every morning is mandatory.

Chipping in actually helps them feel great and it has helped our “Team Allers” spirit grow. Most importantly, it gives me a bit of a break (although supervising them is a whole other job!)

Moral of my story: if you stay divorced long enough, you just may learn something positive from your ex.

Just don’t ever tell them.

Have you learned anything from your exes? Your secret is safe here. 








One Response to “A Lesson From My Wasband… Please Don’t Tell Him”
  1. Masanda Peter says:

    Wow this is an awesome POST!!!!!

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