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Kimberly Talks Mommyhood, Black Men & Life After Divorce With Army Wives Star, Wendy Davis

wendydavis3-1.jpgKimberly Talks Mommyhood, Black Men and Life After Divorce With Army Wives Star, Wendy Davis. Yeah, we went there!



 On the hit
Lifetime series, Army Wives, Wendy Davis plays the very by-the-book Lt. Colonel
Joan Burton. But in real-life Wendy is no-Joan. “I like fake lashes, high heels
and tight dresses,” says Wendy as we chat on the phone late evening east coast
time. “Also, last season Joan chose deployment over staying home with her
daughter. I’m a different kind of mom,” says Wendy, a divorced mom of her
six-year old daughter.


Ever since I
began working on The Mocha Manual to Military Life, I’ve been fascinated by the
Army Wives show and the real-life women in the military and the wives who
support their military men. So I’ve been waiting to talk to Wendy for a minute.


But what began as
an amazing interview with an amazing actress turned a sisterly conversation, real
talk about motherhood, divorce, black men and our common struggles as black women.


Wendy Davis is
for real for real.


It’s a
sensitivity she brings to her character, Joan. “If you are an African American
woman in a high ranking position you will be scrutinized more than someone of
European descent. Joan realizes that, and that’s why she such is such a
perfectionist who does everything by the book. She knows they will be checking
to make sure all the T’s are crossed and the I’s are dotted.


Like any working mom
and every single mom, Wendy juggles career and her daughter and feels the pull.
“I have the same classic challenge as everyone else. We want to be home with
our kid but we have to go out and make that money. I’m all my daughter has.”

Wendy also knows the
real life up and downs of life. “I’m divorced. I’m every woman.” And she knows
the frustrations of trying co-parent post-divorce when two people are not on
the same page.


 “You know how much you are committed and
dedicated to your children and to be partnered with someone in raising a child
to adulthood who doesn’t have the same approach its frustrating,” she says.
“When you see your child disappointed, you want to shake someone.”


I can totally
relate to that.


And then we asked
why and how? Why are so many smart and talented black women in the same
predicament as Wendy? As myself?


Wendy shared this
theory: “When a white man abandons his family, there is a social stigma—that is
not acceptable. In our culture, it is acceptable. What’s worse, white girls are
raised to be gentle and submissive. Black women have been trained and
conditioned to be strong superwomen, who are raising superwomen, because we
know that the calvary is probably not coming. It’s a vicious cycle.”

I can definitely
relate to that.


Catch Wendy Davis
on Lifetime’s hit series, Army Wives on Sundays at 10 p.m.



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