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I’m Sorry. But It’s a Black Mother Thing You Will Never Understand

A little over a week ago, I started blogging for Momlogic.com and my first post about black mothers caused a stir that has yet to settle. A few white women were a little upset. A few news organziations published it (see below). I, however, thought I was simply stating the obvious and saying something I have said here before and we’ve discussed many times before. In a nutshell, I said black mothers don’t get the same respect as white mothers. We know this. We know our babies aren’t valued the same. We know our perspective is often missing from what I call the “mommy conversation” in this country. And we know that when a major network creates a new sitcom about motherhood, you can bet there won’t be one chardonnay-sipping sister in the bunch. (as if we too don’t like our special cups!)

But when I said this to the very mainstream audience of MomLogic, I caused a bit o f a fuss. White women accused me of playing the race card. One told me to “get over it,” and another said, we have Michelle Obama so we should be happy!

Here are one or two more of my favorite snippets:
“this article is so not necessary because it perpetuates a scenario that really only exists in the black woman’s mind. Move on, you’re a mom, you have more important things to worry about.”
– Anonymous

“Why does everything have to be about race?Just because you are black, doesn’t mean you can complain about everything. Movies about the first black football team..then swim team..then track stars, whats next?What is this obsession with black culture? Yes your ancestors were abused and enslaved, but its OVER! Let it go! And stop acting so self-righteous.
– Indignant Daughter

Click here to read all 59 and counting comments when you’re done hearing me out.

Needless to say I was hot! Hot like fi-yah!! But then I realized that this is exactly why I have so much work to do. This is exactly why I get up every morning and continue to try to make Mocha Manual the best site that serves us and bring our parenting perspective to the world. Nobody understands us better. And so in that post (which was picked up the Afro American newspaper and The Liberator magazine), I wrote earnestly that I was putting the world on notice that we expect to heard.

Today, I am also all putting all of my sister black mothers on notice that I am ride or die on this mission. Stay tuned!

In motherhood,

7 Responses to “I’m Sorry. But It’s a Black Mother Thing You Will Never Understand”
  1. Anonymous says:

    Strong Black Woman is what they cannot handle. Keep the movement going. Let them think in their minds that everything should be squashed. But we know.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I agree with the last comment about these women just cannot handle a strong black woman/mother. They will never understand what we have to go through to be strong until they step in our shoes & walk our paths from birth. There is diffiantly a movement and we all have to keep it going!

  3. Quiskaeya says:

    Amen. AND AMEN. Unfortunately, white women will not and can’t understand. Many of these women choose not to understand because acknowledging these things means recognizing and facing their own hidden prejudice.

    I wrote a post about a reaction I received when I told a co-work I was a SAHMama. His reaction was basically saying that he assumed only a white mother can be a SAHM for the right reasons. A black woman would only stay home because she’s lazy, etc.

    Our work is cut out for us in helping our white counterparts understand the plainfield isn’t level. Do yo thang over there on Momlogic!! Speak up and you can count on my support. I will be looking out for your posts.

  4. Nikki @ Euphoria Luv says:

    How interesting. It good to know that another black mom is challenging other peoples ideas about black mothers and standing strong when you encounter the the “white wall”. Keep pushing your not doing it all alone…trust me =)

  5. Kimberly says:

    Thanks ladies. I will keep on keepin on! I’ll be calling you for back up.

  6. Judy says:

    Hi Kim, I just wrote a blog post about the reaction to your articles on Momlogic: Are Black Moms Welcome at Momlogic?Keep up the great work!

  7. NYCity Mama says:

    Oh my goodness Kim. Is it still going on? I haven’t checked in a while and have to say, i was sooo angry when I read people’s reactions…I was infuriated that your discussion was turned into “Why am I suppose to feel guilty, I didn’t own slaves!” I praise you for your discussion, I have been there many times before and it is one of the hardest things to do, to keep your cool, maintain focus and perspective, when as you share your reality it is suddenly attacked and painted as not having value, merit, weight. Good for you!! And don’t stop!

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