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Single & Pregnant

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Parenting
Single and Pregnant: What’s a Sister to Do?

Facing pregnancy alone can happen to anyone. Birth control fails, relationships fall apart, divorce or separation happen, or people die—and anyone of these situations can leave a woman pregnant in circumstances that she least expected.  This includes college educated women with well-paying  jobs, some double-degreed with a solid career and in their midtwenties, thirties and beyond.   
 

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Parenting
Single & Pregnant: What’s a Sister to Do?

Facing pregnancy alone can happen to anyone. Birth control fails, relationships fall apart, divorce or separation happen, or people die—and anyone of these situations can leave a woman pregnant in circumstances that she least expected.  This includes college educated women with well-paying  jobs, some double-degreed with a solid career and in their midtwenties, thirties and beyond.

No matter how you got into the situation, when you are alone and pregnant, the typical congratulatory comments and all the best wishes and excitement about pregnancy may not be coming your way as readily. Instead, news of your pregnancy may bring on inappropriate comments of disapproval or insensitive remarks about your decision to carry this baby. It can be an emotionally trying time for even the strongest of women.

The initial shock of accepting this pregnancy and then telling others is often the first hurdle to surmount. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or foolish because of your decision—no has that right. Your baby is just as precious as one conceived through a marital bond and a child can be successfully raised by a single parent these days.

Say What? How to Deal with Insensitive Comments
The best defense against negative people is a good offense. Be prepared for ignorant comments and how you will respond. For example , if someone says, “You’re ruining your future,” you can say something like like, “My life won’t stop because I have a child. I may have to put a few things off for a little while, but the joys of being with my child will be more than worth it.”

Or if someone says, “A child needs a father,” say, “I know. And I will do everything possible to make sure the father or a number of suitable role models are around for him/her.”

Also, show how committed you are to doing this single mother thing right. Mention that you’re reading parenting books, taking a particular parenting class, researching on the Web or joining a support group or other organization for single mothers. Not only will you be talking a good game, but you’ll be further convincing yourself that you can do this.

It Takes a Village: Get the Support You Need
If friends and relatives aren’t a support option for you, find a local pregnancy group by looking in the yellow pages, checking local bulletin boards in your area and clicking here for our resource listing for single moms.  Also, the National Black Women’s Health Project has self-help groups for single mothers across the country.

If these avenues don’t work for you or you find that dealing with your pregnancy, your parents/ friends disapproval, the father’s anger or attitude or your own worries about handling the future has you feeling on the brink of an emotional collapse, please do not hesitate to get some professional help. Sometimes getting counseling from an unbiased, trained professional can help you keep your sanity. 

 

 

 

 


      

      

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