Fatherhood Without a Script. Who says first comes love, then comes marriage and then comes the baby carriage? Like many men today, I'm a man who did it all backwards. There are no more decisions for me to make about when is the right time to build a family.  Been there done that, blew my choice in the matter. But I got it straight as soon as I realized life was no longer only about me.

The woman who would be my wife was beautiful, electric and professional to a “T”.  Besides being a gorgeous Mocha woman, I knew there was something special about her the moment we met.  And there was.  She had a high profile marketing job, a five year-old son and was finishing her undergraduate degree at nights.  As far as destiny goes, we just happened to have the same last name.  After a fewshort weeks of summer fun, the woman who I wanted to make my girlfriend had every intention of making me her husband.

Now barely into my second year of marriage, there are no decisions to be made about when is theright time to build a family.  Been there done that, blew my choice in the matter. Like many men today, I’m a man who did it all backwards.  But I got it straight as soon as I realized life was no longer only about me.  My daughter is three years old with a sixty-three year-old diva’s disposition.  And although my son is only thirteen, he’s nearly as tall as me and faces a world full of uncertainties like never before.  Believe me, I’ve got my work cut out.

I’d be lying if Isaid I didn’t begin my walk into father-dom a hysterical man who believed my life was coming to an end.  But being a father and a husband isn’t a death sentence. In fact, I’ve been living more as a father than I ever did as a man without “responsibilities.”  Having a family truly means having it all and wanting it all for the ones you love. 

It’s not easy, but it can be done.  And the rewards will last a lifetime.

You’ve got nine months to get your act together before you’re on the hook for the rest of yourlife.  Check me out here a tMochaManual.com for perspectives on entering into the greatness of father-dom versus the misery of father-doom.

Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, Eric has been living in NewYork since 1994 after receiving an undergraduate degree inpsychology and a master’s degree in social science from Binghamton University.  He blogs about his life and times with hiswife and kids at www.makesmewannaholler.com.