Comments on: It’s Single Mom Wednesdays

By: Grace

Grace — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 01:44:39 +0000

This sounds like my life’s story. I was a prideful person because I was used to doing everything myself my mother passed when I was eleven. So asking people for help or assistance was never in my nature.

I moved from Ct to Jacksonville, FL with my best friend and as soon as I got here. Her and her family would not help me do a thing. I was alone with two beautiful little girls a newborn and a 2yr old, in a city with no family. I eventually joined a church, and got to know the people there. along with babysitters, they had a daycare that helped me financially so I could work. People would buy my children things around the holidays. I didn’t have enough money to travel back home regularly.

I say try to find a local church where you and your family feel loved and invited. Your needs will be met without you even having to ask.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:46:52 +0000

Thanks Denise for sharing. I am certainly learning to reach out more, but I know my own guilt that I even have to ask gets in the way. It’s also amazing how people come into your life to help you sometimes when you’re too stubborn to ask yourself. Love that!

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:44:00 +0000

I would love to try to establish that. There’s a downside to being in the “burbs,” there is very little mocha nearby and it seems like all the other moms already have their cliches–trust me, as a networking queen I’ve been trying to infiltrate for years! LOL! I have one girlfriend with whom I trade off sometimes but a little while ago she moved farther away, so its a bit of a trek for both of us. Sigh!! still working on it…still working on it.

By: Denise

Denise — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:24:25 +0000

I will never forget the first time a I had to go to a “stranger” for childcare. My beloved Mother had passed away, she had been the one helping me with my son while my husband and I were together and when especially after we separated. There was a woman in my buiding who watched children. I knew her from when I was growing up. The walk to her apartment felt sooo long, I had never had to ask anyone for help and was scared. But it worked out, she would watch my son after school. Then the crossing guard at my son’s stop offered to walk him to the babysitter. I couldn’t believe it. She and I became very good friends, to this day I love her to death. I had never had to rely on anyone,and I was so grateful to have these women help me. My sister kept saying “You have to reach out” , but my feelings of guilt and inadequacy made me reluctant.( She also had been an incredible blessing, as we lived together and she was practically a second mom), picking him up from the bus, etc. . My “wasband” was helpful sometimes, but I couldn’t always rely on him. Being reluctant and feeling sorry for myself didn’t make sense, and EVERYONE needs help: the working mom, the mom who does not work at home but who also relies on others for carpooling and pick-up / drop-off help, etc. My son is 14 now, so childcare is not much of an issue, but of couse he has to have an eye kept on him!! My suggestion would be to first recognize what an awesome job you are doing, working and raising your children at the same time, and watch what you see other moms do, ask friends whom/what they know, because “patchwork” only works for so long before something falls apart. ( I have experience with that too!) Good luck.:)

By: Khalebo

Khalebo — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:25:47 +0000

Hey lady! Do you have a parent with whom you can take turns [I know perish the thought!]
My cousin Wema has about 2 parents in her network. They take turns watching each other’s kids for a specific day, which allows the Mommies a break.
Just an idea… Good luck in your quest for answers.